An Open Letter to the Man I so Loved

Dearest,

Tonight i am thinking of you, though i am not so sure if i miss you. I know you probably are not thinking of me. That is your usual, which is why i really do not like moments like this in my life. Unfortunately, i have no choice i guess. I cannot help it. Anyway, that is not why i am writing this letter.

I am writing because i think i am learning to let you go. I want to be respectful enough to let you know that soon, i will disappear completely from your life and this may even be the last farewell i will give.

Let me tell you that i did love you more than this breaking world and i seriously still do. I, however, do not wish to stay in your life anymore as you do not really seem to be interested in having me in it.

I would like to express my utmost gratitude for putting up with my crazy stunts in what seemed to have been an eternal struggle to lure you to me. It was madness, i know, and you were kind enough to play your role in the game. Sincerely, thank you.

I also would like to let you know that even if you pushed aside all my efforts and failed to consider the possibility that i really am the one for you, i am not angry. I know that anger is a consuming emotion as much as love is, but i would rather be consumed by love for you than be engulfed by the fire of hatred. I am emotional yes, but not entirely irrational.

Speaking of rational, know that i know you do not mean to hurt me and in all those years, whether you deliberately did me something unforgivable, i forgive you. Not only because i am in love with you, but more importantly because i would rather walk out of your life in a calm and composed manner. I entered your life as a rowdy kid, i would like to gracefully exit as a lady might.

For i am a lady, i am accepting defeat and i am leaving you. I respect the fact that oftentimes in life, people do not get what they want. At the same time, i respect the reality that you are not in love with me; even when you mean to me this lifetime, and all the other ones the universe may permit me to have. I find truth in the saying that if you truly love someone, you must learn to be happy for that person even when you are a mere audience to his unfolding life. I am holding no grudge and you will not see me retaliate.

I resign. I humbly sign my name on this final leave-taking. My footsteps will surely be slow, sluggish in all honesty, i might even look back, many times, but i will not stop. There is no reason to do so. My heart is not heavy.

As i have always thought, you are such an adventure. Desirable in every aspect, memorable even with the flaws, the most loved for half my lifetime. To you my one great love, a final salute.

Your eternal paramour,
Gracie